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Let us be honest, putting someone you love in a nursing home is tough. On one hand, you know they need professional care. On the other hand, you worry. Will they be treated well? Will their medical needs actually be met? Learn how to advocate for proper nursing home care with practical tips on monitoring medical needs, building staff relationships, and spotting red flags. I have been there myself when helping my grandmother transition, and trust me, those fears do not just go away.
Choosing the Best Nursing Home, Do Not Skip This Step!
Not all nursing homes are created equal. Some feel warm and welcoming, while others, well, let us just say you would not want to leave your pet there, let alone a family member. Start by checking Medicare’s Nursing Home Compare tool; it gives ratings on staffing, inspections, and overall quality. But do not stop there. Visit in person, and not just once. Pop in unannounced on a weekend or evening when staffing might be thinner.
When I was looking for a place for my grandma, I noticed something small but important: the way staff talked to residents. Did they make eye contact? Were they patient, or did they seem rushed? Little things like that tell you a lot about how your loved one will be treated daily.
Get Involved in Their Care Plan, You Should Be There
Once your family member is settled, you will hear about their “care plan.” This is basically their medical and daily care roadmap: what meds they need, therapy schedules, dietary restrictions, everything. By law, nursing homes must create one within a week of admission and update it regularly.
Here is the thing: you have a right to be part of those care plan meetings. Speak up! You know your loved one best. Does the doctor want to add a new medication? Ask why. Are they suggesting physical therapy? Find out what the goals are. If something feels off, say so. I once questioned why my grandma was put on a sleep aid when she had never had trouble sleeping before. It turns out it was a mix-up with another resident’s chart. Mistakes happen, and that is why you need to be their advocate.
Keep an Eye on Their Care Visits Matter More Than You Think
Visiting often and at different times helps you spot problems before they get serious. Look for signs of neglect: Is your loved one clean? Are they losing weight unexpectedly? Do they have bed sores or bruises that were not there before? Trust your gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is.
Another big one? Medications. Ask to see the medication administration records MARs occasionally. Medication errors are shockingly common in nursing homes. If you see new pills on the list, ask what they are for. If your loved one seems overly drowsy or out of it, dig deeper.
Build Relationships with the Staff It Makes a Difference
This might sound obvious, but being friendly with nurses and aides goes a long way. Learn their names. Say thank you. A little kindness makes them more likely to keep an extra eye on your loved one. That said, do not be afraid to set expectations. If something is not right, speak up politely but firmly.
If bigger issues come up like consistent understaffing or ignored requests, take it higher. Talk to the director of nursing or the facility’s social worker. Keep notes of every conversation date, who you spoke to, what was promised. Paper trails matter.
What to Do If Things Go Wrong
Even with the best efforts, sometimes care falls short. Maybe medications are missed, or your loved one is not getting help to the bathroom on time. Start by talking to the staff directly. If nothing changes, put your concerns in writing and escalate them. Every state has a Long-Term Care Ombudsman program free advocates who investigate complaints and help resolve issues.
At the end of the day, your loved one deserves dignity and proper care. It is not always easy, but staying involved is the best way to make sure they get it.
References:
Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services. (2023). Nursing Home Compare. https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/
National Consumer Voice for Quality Long-Term Care. (2022). Family Involvement in Nursing Home Care.https://theconsumervoice.org/issues/family
Administration for Community Living. (2023). Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program. https://acl.gov/programs/protecting-rights-and-preventing-abuse/long-term-care-ombudsman-program